Dear Jacob: January 2013

It's been so long since I sat and wrote in your Dear Jacob Blog, it's hard to re write what I write from paper to the computer. Jacob I have missed you so much in the last 3 years, I can't believe it's already been 3 years since you left. There is not a day that does not pass that my heart aches, you are always right there in my thoughts. After everything with you I did not know If I wanted to have another child. When you would say Daddy I want a sister, so I can protect her I always thought that was the cutest thing. I knew with all the hospital stays It was not the right time, but when is the right time?? I thought there was never going to be the right time, but there was and I knew it. Your baby bother was a little miracle came into this world the same way you did, emergency c section. He came out screaming, with you beside him watching over him. There is not a day that goes by that we think how things would have been with you here with your little brother Dillon.

DADDY AND YOUR LITTLE BROTHER DILLON, HE IS ONLY 8 DAY OLD

IN THE NICU, WHERE I KNOW YOU NEVER LEFT HIS SIDE

Dillon is already going to be 8 months in 2 days on the 29th and then a few days later your 3 year Angelversary. Once again we will be sending balloons up to you, a tradition that Dillon will be able to partake in. I am sure next year he will be wanting to send balloons up to you next year! Did you know I buy an angel figurine every year in memory of your passing? So that is still something I need to go get.