Thursday, April 15, 2010

2/5/2010 11:02 PM

Dear Jacob,
Day in and day out, missing you, that is all I do. It has been 4 days since we left the hospital without, the hardest thing I could have every done besides losing you. It is so hard just to have time by my self, daddy’s not working, Aunt Nikki’s not working, is helping with a lot of things. I just have not had time just to sit by my self and talk to you, that just tears me up. I turn the TV on to your cartoons, gives me a little part of you. If like you are sitting just in the other room, I just don’t here you beautiful laugh. At night is really hard, I have been grabbing your pillow, doggie and blanket from your room and going to bed with it. I still smell you as if you were lying there next to me.
We went out to dinner the other night with Patty & Joe, it’s just not the same not having you there with us. I go places, but my mind is somewhere else, I don’t know how much of the conversation I am actually absorbing. I was told Drew is taking your death so hard, that just breaks my heart & to know you two had such a special friendship means so much. You two just clicked the first time you got to play together.

Daddy and I went over to Wal-Mart after to go pick up some things we need for the house, that was so hard. I was so emotional, I just followed Daddy around, I could not even tell you what was in the store that day.
I am missing you so much Jacob, I am still waiting to wake up from the nightmare our lives our in. I look up into the clouds as thoughts of you fly by.
Love you sweetie, good night

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